exploremyjourney

Bet you can guess what happened next though, yes I had a big chop I was walking around looking like some boy for a good couple of weeks, but you see those weeks it felt like months. Having to go on road like that was humiliating to my person. I mean check it now, Now I had short hair and it was in its complete natural form and I had the world of spot on my face which my mother could not resist squeezing leaving me with scars. I wasn’t looking cute pretty or beautiful.

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March 4, 2015
by ashahaircare 1 Comment

2. My Hair Journey

I think my mum hated it as much as I did because she got my cousin Linda on the case and it was plaited up and looking presentable, yes you guessed it I went back to my extension phrase whereby I felt comfortable and that false sense of security came back but this time round it didn’t last long. A little sad I know but the fact of the matter is that I didn’t see black hair as irresistible it’s not like the leading shampoo and conditioning product was promoting our hair type on TV now was it? In fact it still doesn’t today. The reason why I believe the confidence didn’t last this time round was because I was seeing girls rocking their own hair and I wasn’t rocking mine. At this time in my life I guess the belief back then was if you were rocking extensions it’s because you have short hair that can’t grow. This phrase didn’t last too long neither because my hair was growing rapid now my cousin noticed it my mum noticed it my mum’s friends noticed it. I remember not going to get my hair done as often now and it had a few waves in it too which was good because up until that point I thought I had a picky head. I don’t know where that notion came from but if I explore the idea I sure I would be able to come up with some sort of thoughts/ ideas. Ok here it goes, I believe the idea stems from a picture that my Nan has of me in the bath my hair just look messy. It’s plaited but it looks like it needs to be redone and though I have other pictures that I look cute in that one sticks with me for some reason. But it’s safe to say now that I don’t think that my hair is picky.

Anyway the natural experience soon died out and I downgraded to a texturiser which I was cool with I guest. When my mum had finished doing my hair that day I just remember my hair being on my shoulders and I could shake it and my mum was doing my hair more and putting little cute hair styles in there when I went to school for the first time with my new transformation the girls couldn’t believe that my hair was that long. Questions like why did you use extensions if your hair was so nice my most common response to a question like that was this “because my mother has not got the time to do my hair in the mornings like that” so girls thought I had a weave in my head and wanted to touch to find out if I was lying and they soon shut up when they found out I was rocking the real goods.

I was getting older now moving up in secondary school experimenting with relaxer I wanted bone straight hair and that is exactly what I got. I got bone straight hair I lost my thickness and it was getting thin and along with that came breakage I was getting growth but it wasn’t showing up in my length because I was messing around with too many gels and tying my hair too tight. But I thought I found a solution which was adding a few weave pieces in my head with that glue that my mum uses. That was a big mistake if I ever new one. The reason why I say this is because I got attached to it. I can remember put it in my hair wrong and it got stuck to my hair and I had to hack my hair off to get it out. I was devastated and I was not about to tell my mum because I had no business messing in her things. So now my new hairstyle contained more hair gel so I could put it back in one with a sweep fringe at the front drowning in gel. I can tell you that this did not help clean up spots but I was trying to fit in with the now at what was happening in school.

After leaving school I still was rocking a relaxer and experimenting with weaves. I was a full blown addict, a slave to the cream crack for almost 14 years which is a long time.

The New Old Me

I cut my hair all off and this wasn’t because my hair was damage and in need of saving as such but because I felt like I needed to do it. It was like I wanted to get to know the whole me and me processing my hair every eight weeks wasn’t allowing me to do this. So before I went straight into the whole chop thing I looked into loads of videos on YouTube it was unreal I sat there religiously everyday looking into other peoples big chop experiences. I found some of them really good and others not so good. The ones I found good and very informative was the ones that gave you tips and motivation the ones that I didn’t like so much was the ones that just showed pictures with no insight as to how that person got there ie what products did that person used, did they co wash, do the trim etc.

So anyway having watched loads of videos it then dawned on me that I could do this. I want my natural hair back so I used to get one of my friends to plait up my hair for me. My whole thinking was im not going to do the big chop thing because it might not suit me and the last time I got a big chop I was young and it made me feel ugly and so I went with the idea that the growing out the perm was the way forward. This approach was ok for a while until my hair needed washing. dealing with two different textures of hair was long and unnecessary.

I questioned my person – why are you trying to hang on to something that you want to eliminate? why is my person hanging onto ends that serve no purpose for my future plans? and who am I trying to please? I couldn’t give a sensible answer to the two but the the latter I realised that I put too much power into what other people thought about me which was never good for my person because it would hold me back or better yet stop me from doing what I want to do.

So on the 19th of October 2013 I found this courage which allowed me to cut away at what I think other people may say and chop away. I Cut away at all the processed hair. This left my person feeling reborn, reconnected and vitalised.

Thank you for reading and I will be back soon.

love and kisses all round

February 23, 2015
by ashahaircare Leave a comment

1. My Hair Journey

CHILDHOOD

Looking back at my childhood with my westernised ideas I thought that I had the worst hair (yes I said it). This is because my hair was not silky, straight, wavy or reaching past my shoulders. Instead it was thick, tight curled and short, some may even describe this as picky.

TV adverts always made me feel like I was missing out or like I was not worth it. The products were always geared to everyone else but the black woman and her family.

This type of information/ idea started to fester into my mind which in turn made my person act and think out of character. For example when I was little girl about 5 years of age maybe even a little bit older my sisters and I would play games to keep ourselves amused, one of the memories that I remember is that we used our tops or our head scarves as hair on heads to give the illusion that we had long hair, just like how it was portrayed in the media. We thought we were too fly, but the fact of the matter was that we were a product of insecurities from a very young age.

Having these insecurities didn’t start to attack my person until I started school or at least it wasn’t magnified until then. From what I can remember of my primary school there was very few black girls in my class, the rest were white or mixed parentage.

I remember having to wear my hair in cups and saucers ( for those that don’t know what this term is the ignorant and obnoxious would call them doo doo plaits) I didn’t like that style particularly because I didn’t see the style as beautiful. What had helped me form this idea were all those cartoon princesses’ stories and films that my person had indulged in. WARNING THESE SHOWS ARE NOT KIDDIE FRIENDLY!!

I got to say it folks but I began to think that Caucasian people were blessed and we were cursed.

When going to school with my hairstyles I remember thinking why can’t my hair be that long, why can’t I have a fringe or why is it when my hair have gets washed it shrinks?

But you know what it didn’t just stop there, my logical efforts started to reason with myself for example: I am the same age as Milly so therefore my hair should be as long as Milly, or Milly has cut her hair so therefore my hair will grow longer than hers. I need to amplify that I was a child back then so therefore I had a childlike mind and was not equipped with the knowledge I have today. Also I would like to say that Milly is not of the same ethnic origin as I.

When having my hair wash I used to hate it because the soap would get into my eyes and burn, once that process was done it was then the blow dryers job to blow out my hair, hated that too because it would burn especially if grease was added to my hair beforehand. To top it off you get told don’t move or you will get chop with the comb (life seemed hard man). And I’m sorry but, I have to go there I think these type of experiences not only made me hate my hair more but it taught me to be afraid of it too. That was my reality until I was introduced to my first love…. extensions.

Now let me tell you something having extensions opened up a whole new dimension for me because one I could avoid getting my hair washed for a few weeks, two my hair was now perceived as longer and three, I could shake it. If the truth be told hair extension gave me a false sense of confidence, my ego grew when my hair looked longer and when it was time for the extensions to come out my person became somewhat depressed and anxious, I reverted back into my old self. The reason why I think that is, was because I took upon my head at a young age a paranoia, whereby I started to second guess what society imposed upon me now, that I haven’t got longer hair……I started to think that I wasn’t an equal to everyone else, my understanding of self-worth was none existent.

This then became an identity crisis for my community and still continues to festers within our communities today. Having extension was just a stepping stone for me. when I turned Ten years old I got my first perm. That is young I know but I was happy. This false sense of confidences began to grow again.

For a minute I love it because my hair would now flop and shake and it was easier to comb and it was different. I did not have my hair curly perm for too long before I started breaking out in this ugly rash. My mother and long with others would put it down to teenager spots and what have you but, the fact of the matter was that the gel and activator was overly greasy and was blocking up my pores which in return was causing me to break out. The side effect of this was that I started to think that I was ugly and that this ugliness was going to stick with me forever. Truth be told I hated the skin that I was in.

Also when my scalp used to itch the product would burn and leave my head scabby for days. (mashing up my head top)

I think what save me from the curly perm flex was one of two things, one that I used to comb out the curls and that used to offend the person that took the time out to do my hair and two that my cousins mother chopped my hair off talking about my hair was damage. All I can say on that one is that my mother was not at all happy with that because my hair was reasonably long but hey I’m not going into that that is another story altogether.

Oops its that time again.

before I dash off, I would like to say that it is not your hair, material things or other external factors that you crave that can define you. what defines you is your spirit so putting in the work to recognise your true identity is crucial because only then will you realise your true beauty.

Thank you for reading and I will be back to share more with you soon.

love and kisses all round

February 18, 2015
by ashahaircare Leave a comment

Welcome To My Blog

Hello to everybody out there. My name is Asha Oya, I am in my twenties and I would like for you to walk with me. By doing so I will share with you my story. Before I really open up I want to say that I am into spirituality, food, health, yoga, Natural hair, qi gong, and anything that is positive on my well- being. So these are things that you will definitely see in my blog.

Life for me has not been an easy quest by no stretch of the imagination. I have been handed some humongous challenges from a very early age. I am talking physical abuse, sexual abuse and verbal abuse. which then evolved into low self- esteem and no- confidence which was an excellent recipe for fear and self hate.

Growing up in a Christian back ground left me feeling unfulfilled when I got to my early teenager years. It was like my person loved the singing but could not digest the preaching. In fact it bored me. I was not a real believer either because I use to think that if God was so great and powerful “where the heck is God when my transgressors are handling me with no caution or care in the world and why are they not being punished”. But hey, you wake up in the morning and you give thanks right? And the reason why you give thanks is because your still alive and able to breathe even if you don’t want to. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that we all have a part to play and we are all interlinked one way or another.

This is my intro.

Thank you for reading.